I read the titles of all the new posts I missed yesterday. I click on a few random posts that seem pretty or thoughtful. I try to immerse my heart into the world of everyone else's problems. If I just keep reading, I'll forget. I'll be able to to avoid the looming thoughts that threaten to overwhelm and destroy my world as I know it. My mom's cancer has spread...while on chemo for a year...it decided to hit the lungs...and now the brain. I can't think. I can't feel. I don't know where to put my attention, my brain, but especially my heart. We're moving miles away in 2 weeks. Miles and miles from where my mom will be fighting for her life. My mom who can barely speak English, with my brother who can barely speak at all. We're moving for so many good reasons. We have to move. She was cancer free when we decided...my sister and I. We were optimistic. We wanted to start a new life. We need to start a new life. And yet, my heart doesn't know what to do.